A big day for me, not so much in running as in life.
1 June 2020 marks the tenth anniversary of when I stopped drinking. It wasn’t the first time I tried to stop drinking but it was the last time and the one that stuck. Ten years is a long time and my life is infinitely better because alcohol has no part in it today. Alcohol cost me a lot – financially, emotionally, socially, professionally, and personally – and I’m glad that it isn’t something that has any influence over how I live today.
We ate cake at home yesterday in celebration of the tenth anniversary. Yes, it was celebrating a day early but I figured that if I had made it through 9 years and 364 days sober, I could probably afford to open the non-alcoholic champagne a little early without putting my sobriety into doubt. It was great to share a slice of some lovely vegan cake with the family and reflect a little on why and how I got sober and what it really meant.
I was reflecting on all of that today. I thought about the stupid things I had done while drunk (too many to mention!) and the great things I’ve done since getting sober (luckily, also too many to mention!). I thought about David Clark, I thought about Scotty on TJM, and I thought about all the other sober warriors I’ve met over the last ten years. I remembered those early AA meetings I attended and the passing of a friend I met there a few years back. Alcohol is a hell of a drug and can tear people and their lives apart, and it can and sometimes will kill people.
Sadly, on this day, I won’t be out running – but I have a good excuse. Promise!
The other night I mentioned the heavy legs and the numbness that I was feeling. Well, it hasn’t gone away and both legs are still numb and tingling, and it’s extended to my fingers, too. This is more than weird now, and I have booked an appointment with the doctor on Thursday to see what is going on. It’s strange but it is not the first time I’ve had something like this happen to me. The last time, though, was a good 12 or 13 years ago, and then it was just in one arm. This time it’s more of my body, and more persistent, too.
Last time I was scanned, MRI’d, and inspected and the doctors eventually came back and said it was probably a pinched nerve in my back. I was fine with that and it went away after a few days, so no harm no foul. This time around, though, it is affecting both hands, both legs, and it’s been going on for a while, so I need to get it looked at. Pinched nerve? Unlikely, in my uneducated medical opinion, but we’ll see what the doc says on Thursday.
Until then I am going to be concentrating on just keeping active, eating right, and getting some work done, but besides that I probably won’t run a whole lot this week.
But, still, 10 years sober is worth celebrating and being alive and kicking – if a little numb – is a good thing.